My thoughts....

Change can be a good or bad thing. It depends on how you handle it. I guess I've had my share of ups and downs since my life has dramatically changed. All I know is that I think about Jessica everyday, that I wish I could see her, talk to her, call her, or just be with her for a little while longer. Her life was taken so abruptly, and things happened so fast that day, that no one not even us, was prepared for what was to come. Jessica was 18 days shy of turning 25. And 2 days away from moving to new brausfels, to go back to school, move in with her grandmother, and save her money. She was gonna start over, and do something o better her life. The plans she had made were taken away in an instant. Things like that aren't fair, I still wander, " why do all the good ppl have to be taken away so soon?" and " why are the bad ppl left here on earth for so long, that don't deserve to be here?"
We didn't deserve for our lives to be ended that way, we didn't deserve anything that happened that day. I hate reliving it all the time in my head, but how do I stop the things that I saw from replaying over and over in my head?

I remember everything up to when the paramedics put me in the helicopter, and after that I had bits a pieces of little memory here and there. And when I woke up and became coherent enough, I was in pain, all the time, and had this bazooka of a splint on my right arm, because the bullets that hit my arm, shattered both bones in my forearm. And they had to set my arm operate and remove all the shrapnel from the bullets and shattered bones as good as possible and then later they put 2 rods a plate and 15 screen in my arm. They didn't know how much I would be able to use my arm and gave me some hope but said it woul be a difficult and long recovery.. They said they didn't know if I would walk again as well and I went home in a wheelchair and 4 months later I made myself get up finally and start walking. They didn't know if i was gonna make it through the first 2 nights and miraculously pulled through. I had a slim to none chance at all these obstacles and overcame everything they said I probably wouldn't. Like I said in the last blog, I wanna tell my story to those who will listen. And I wanna tell it to those I can help as well. Let me know if you would wanna hear the entire story and also if u know of any place I can ho and spell public ally about it.